Trying not to obsess

Man this really stinks! I am sitting here, trying not to over analyze every little twinge, pain, hiccup, or fart. I don't want to have my mind consumed by thoughts of "what if" because realistically, everything I am feeling could be pms signs and while my body doesn't usually give me signs of anything, I'm just thinking these must be signs. Really, I don't want to become that person. It's also way too early to start obsessing.

Today, we decided that if we aren't pregnant by March (provided I have a regular monthly cycle) we will "take a break" and work on getting healthy. Not that we aren't going to start that now but it will probably be a bit harder. I'd love to lose at least 50 pounds, which won't take me out of the obese bmi but will at least bring me closer to the low 200s than the 300s. I mean really, I would LOVE to have a baby bump that is visible, not hidden under all my fat.

We haven't told anyone we are trying, well other than my faraway friends and blogging about it. It's much easier that way; prevents all the "so how's it going?" or "are you knocked up yet?" questions. Besides, I just started to get away from the "why aren't you pregnant?" and "don't you want kids?" questioning.

So we just got back from dinner - left halfway through the post, oops ;)

Something else to not obsess about ... The freaking doctor office. The nurse really irritated me. I mean, how am I supposed to know that the bloodwork order was for 7dpo not just plain ol' cd21. I guess they still assume a 28 day cycle, even though it's a known fact that they're NOT that on average. So if I had a perfect 28 day cycle, cd21 would have been 7dpo. Well if I would have known the blood needed to be 7dpo, that would have actually been Saturday, NYE, so I would have either done it today or waited till Tuesday I guess? I don't know. Anyway, that's not what has me so mad about the doc office. I called to ask when I would get the results and they said it would be about a week, 7 business days. Um, and that helps me HOW?! I mean, I still don't quite get what the bw is for - other than to read my progesterone levels and to verify O - but I do know that the doc wants to check things out and before giving me more Clomid will need to do an US. Well, if FF is right, then AF is on her way and should be here January 4, which would not be enough time for me to get the results, get an US and another script for Clomid. HELLO time is of the essence here, doctor!! It's not like I'm 24 going on 25.

Besides, I'm feeling like crap, most definitely feel like AF is on her way into town. While it makes me sad to think that, I'm just glad my body appears to have worked well with the Clomid.