Today is July 1 and I would be 24 weeks pregnant, with just 16 weeks left to go to organize the baby's room, planning a baby shower, getting everything organized for maternity leave in October. Instead, I'm sitting here with no growing baby in my belly or a room to organize. Tomorrow will mark 13 weeks when we found out our baby stopped growing. I thought I would be ok to move on and move away from the feelings and the heartache but I'm not.
One of my dearest friends is 11 1/2 weeks pregnant and I hope and pray that she makes the full 40 weeks with a healthy baby in the end! Sometimes it is hard for me to read her updates because I didn't make it to her milestones. Yes, it's a bit of jealousy and anger and sadness that I feel but a lot of happiness because there is a chance!
I just wish I could close my eyes, make all the sadness and aches disappear and open my eyes to see the baby that should be.
1 comment:
I'm sorry my updates cause you sadness. While I haven't had a loss, I do understand how it feels to read updates. I have watched friend after friend get pg, and each one was harder on me because I was going througb extreme measures and nothing was working. I have no doubt your day will come. I don't think it was a fluke that you were able to get pg so easily and I hope that it happens that way again for you. <3
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