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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Overactive Brain

It could be hormonal or it could just be my brain.  I can't seem to shake the feeling something is wrong or bad is going to happen.  Maybe it's because I've already experienced it so I expect it.

If you've read all my posts, or some, then you know I'm diabetic and overweight.  Shocker - not really, I'm just freaking lazy and make excuses so I got myself into this mess alone.

Tuesday, the endocrinologist - who I just happen to love because she is SO perky and upbeat and determined to get us both through this! - decided to put me on meal insulin.  Not because I can't control my BG levels but because I was making not so great choices (hello tortillas!) my levels were averaging high throughout the day.  Yesterday was the first time I took the meal insulin and I don't know if it helped or hurt.  I'm freaking out because I know I'm the one in control and will cause something to happen if I don't get my shit together!

I really need to wake myself up - or smack myself - because I'm still not doing 100% of what I should be doing.  HELLO GENEVIEVE you have another person to be thinking about!!  Yeah, I know but why am I still being selfish?!?

I need to be super restrictive in order to make this work.  I need to get moving, I can't tell you the last time I went for a walk.  Sitting at a desk all day and then sitting on the couch all evening isn't very active. 

I don't feel like I have a physical support team, sure my friends (that all live in other states) will support me but I need PHYSICAL!  The hubby isn't 100% reliable and I hate that I have no "real" friends here.  Pity party placed on HOLD!

I am hoping that my thoughts are just a side effect of freaking out and that once I eat this salad (with 7 carbs) and go for an afternoon walk (at least 20 minutes) I'll feel better and will keep it up!

3 comments:

Randi said...

There was a gal at Curves the other day that was like 6-months pregnant. It's low intensity and will get you moving. Go join. I know there's one close. You can do it!

Gen said...

I think I'm going to start small - aiming for one 15 minute walk during the workday.

K said...

You can do it. I have to do it too. I read it takes 21 days to make something a habit..so maybe we can do 21 days, 1 step at a time and get there. Good luck!!