This week marks the 8 week anniversary of our loss. Now I completely understand my mood swings and desire to stay in bed forever. We should be halfway through, finding out the gender and making plans for our nursery. Instead, I'm waiting for AF to show up and lose some weight so we can get things moving again.
Honestly, I don't know which feeling is worse: wanting to get pregnant or losing a pregnancy.
For years I've wanted to be a mom and then when we started trying, I was so lucky to wait just two cycles. It's just so hard to wrap my mind around everything that has happened. Sure, it could have happened for a reason but no one will ever know the reason and I just can't accept that.
So much new life around me, it's hard to be excited without a ping of jealousy. I want so much to "get over", "move on" and just be carefree and happy.
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